I have reached the point in my life where I live for 8:30pm, when I can just sit on the couch and breathe. As of yesterday, I have officially completed my bachelor’s degree with the help of Kai. Or not… he is kicking my butt y’all. I know babies his age who are hardly mobile yet and this kid is almost walking. He pulls himself up on anything and everything, gets into everything that isn’t a toy, crawls faster than some people (me) run, doesn’t like to be told no, and can walk around the couch holding on with one hand. It’s insane. He has been going through something though, so I have been taking full advantage of every single nap — sometimes a fifteen minute one, sometimes two twenty minute ones, and then those days where he doesn’t nap at all…sigh. He has been so unpredictable and on top of writing papers, Gauge’s ridiculous work schedule and long nights, and all of the other things adulting requires of me, it’s been a little rough around here.
I went for a mani+pedi last weekend and I haven’t stopped thinking about it since. I didn’t know whether to catch up on messages+social media, read, close my eyes, or have a conversation with a real adult… it honestly gave me so much life. But, I hesitated to walk out the door for close to 45 minutes, just like I always do. I have struggled with the infamous mom guilt (and still do, like bad), but I am slowly starting to realize that I need this. I have made a list of the things I am going to do over the next month that I’ve been meaning to do for a very long time and I am sharing them with you to maybe encourage you to do the same, and to hold myself accountable. I am so bad at getting so caught up in taking care of what everyone else needs from me, that I don’t let myself get what I need. I’m ready y’all.
- I want to set my alarm for 6:30am every morning. No matter how many times I am up during the night with Kai, no matter what time Gauge wakes me up when he leaves for work, no matter how late I go to sleep… I am challenging myself to get up and spend some quiet time in my devotional and digging deeper into the Word. This always seems to get put on the back burner and I know when it does because it makes such a difference in the way I handle things.
- I need to get a trim + face frame. The appointment is already made because these split ends are seriously outrageous.
- I want to get another mani+pedi. My goal is to maintain my nails and get a pedicure at least once every 2 months. I think everyone at least deserves this.
- I want to get my eyebrows threaded and be consistent with it. Nothing feels better than having fresh brows. Also, getting my eyebrows microbladed back in November was possibly the best decision I’ve ever made.
- I want to get a blowout at the DryBar. I seriously thought this had to be so expensive, then I realized that I have to actually write in my planner to wash+blow dry my hair at least once a week, so I am more than willing to pay someone $45 to do it for me. Hallelujah!
- I want to self tan at least once a week. There is just something about a nice bronze glow that can give ya all the confidence, am I right? I have tried so many self tanners and have finally found my all time favorite and I will never try a different one.
- I want to read more books. I buy a book every time one gets recommended to me, but have never had time to read them, so now I need to find a place to start.
- I want to workout everyday, no excuses. There was a time a few years back when I practically lived at the gym and was in the best shape of my life. I had created such healthy habits for myself and I need to feel that way again.
- I want to spend time writing. I have so many dreams for this blog, and I think I may finally have an opportunity to chase them now that I have a little less on my plate. I have such a passion for writing and for sharing, so this blog, even if only one person reads it, (hey mom) 😉 it brings me so much joy.
- I want to do my full skincare regimen every morning and every night. It is a ritual at night, but somedays the morning gets away from me and before I know it it’s 4pm and I still haven’t brushed my teeth… yeah, those days really exist.
For years I struggled with horrible acne. Somedays I didn’t want to wake up because of it. You can’t hide it, you can’t run away from it, and it feels like it’s the only thing people see when they look at you. Naturally, the worst of it was when I was in high school. Every 6 months the dermatologist was finally able to squeeze me in and after five minutes, send me away with another chemical cream and one time even a legit antibiotic pill. After years of using these prescriptions, getting facials, and buying every prestige acne regimen at Ulta and nothing worked, I was ready to throw in the towel and accept that I would never love my skin.
Rodan+Fields found me a little over a year ago, and it quite literally saved my skin. It was an investment, but I was desperate. I share this because a big part of self-care is investing in yourself. The investment I made in my skin was the kindest thing I could have ever done for myself, so I am going to share a few of my favorite “investment” products that I can’t live without.
To all of my girlfriends, show yourself some love because you deserve it, we all do. Even on the days when I feel like I’ve failed as a mom and/or a wife, I am teaching myself to believe that I still deserve a little love too. I encourage you to do the same.